Sunday, November 6, 2011

November Post

"Many seek advice, few profit from it."  Publius Syrus (42 BC)

All of us ask advice, looking for the magic bullet that will save us, or help us find the right solution for our problem.  For me helpful advice is the kind that directs me to look within first.

I remember telling a friend I wanted to confront a family member about an issue.  I was angry and wanted to give  it to them, and good.  When I asked my friend about it, she asked me what I hoped would come of me confronting this person.  As I pondered my motivation, I realized that my true intention was for this person to feel bad and to change.  I didn't like admitting this, but it was true.  When I acknowledged this to my friend, she asked me if I thought that was likely.  Was this family member likely to be open to my feedback and change?  It didn't take long for me to realize this was unlikely.  Upon further reflection I decided not to confront.  I'm thankful that I took my friend's advice and took an honest look in the mirror at my motivation before acting.  If I'd acted without thought, I probably would have merely hurt my family member and frustrated myself.